awkward weirdo roaming around society

It’s been a long time since my last post. As always with every online journal I start, the idea starts to seem to self-absorbed and self-indulgent and I hate the words that I write so I just stop altogether. It’s kind of like my attitude towards life. If anything starts to go well, I have to analyze the life out of it.

I’m going into the studio with Stars Above on March 29th. We’re recording with Tom Hamilton, a producer who’s recorded such bands as the Lemonheads and Jerry’s Kids. This wouldn’t be happening though if it wasn’t for Bob Cenci, ex-guitarist for Jerry’s Kids and now lead singer/guitarist of Battle Green.

As fate would have it, we did end up doing the With A Bullet E.P. release show, although the actual E.P. release was delayed. It was still a great show nonetheless. It was at the Rosebud Bar, which is secretly behind the Rosebud Diner in Somerville. It was us (Stars Above), With A Bullet, The Spoilers, and Buried In Leather. It made me realize that Stars need to start playing better shows. These Tuesday night All Asia shows aren’t helping anyone. We did play a Friday night show at Dodge St. Bar in Salem that had a good turn out, but the owner Frank is such an asshole dip-shit that we vow to never play there again. Not only was he extremely disrespectful to us when we were on stage (which I didn’t really find out about until I heard the recordings Bob took of the show), he completely snubbed us on payment. I am so sick of wasting my time, money, and effort at playing these clubs, when we’re the ones bringing in the clientele, we’re the ones bringing the money spent of booze, food, cover charge, etc… and we don’t see a DIME of that? Not even free booze? FUCK THAT. That is amateur shit and I’ve been doing this too fucking long to tolerate that shit. At least at the Rosebud we got payed SOMETHING and a free pitcher of booze for the band. That’s how it should be done.

Anyway, we don’t have ANY show’s booked right now, for the first time in a year. We’re focusing on tightening up the songs for the E.P. We have some tentative dates and some shows we might play at T.T.s, the Midway, and some other ones, but nothing is definite.

In other news all I can hear is Johnny Rotten screaming NOO FUTURE in my head. That’s basically how I feel. I’m 25, no job, no prospects, no future. I have my band, I have my girlfriend, I have my cat, and I have a small number of true friends that I could probably count on half a hand. Other than that, I don’t have shit. Am I complaining? No. Am I worried about my future? Hell Yes. I don’t want to be a burn out musician still playing Dodge St. for free when I’m 50 years old. That scares the shit out of me. I also don’t want to be stuck at an entry level position at some local Wal-Mart for the rest of my life either. There seems to be no viable way to get from point A. to point B. You cross so many lines in life you finally get to the point where the trail back is too long and unsure, so you just keep going down that path. The further you go, the more impossible it is to get back.

The sad truth is I’m a neurotic fool who can’t appreciate anything, has no ambition/motivation, thinks life owes him something and has a bad attitude towards everything.

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