I’ve been playing music a long time now. If you wanna get technical, you could say my music career started off with a band my sister and I created at the ripe ol age of 11. We were “Terminal Velocity”. They would later name a movie Terminal Velocity…. based on our band.  HA.  Anyway, I’m not here to brag about musical accomplishments because the truth is there are seldom to none in my lifetime. Everyone thinks playing in a band is THE SHIT. Well sometimes it is. Playing in bands is supposed to be fun but.. its not. Playing shows, building a fan base, getting to the point where people can recite your songs, thats all fun. Writing songs is fun. The only thing that is NOT fun is dealing with your fellow band mates. Usually the formula is this; One just goes along with everything and doesnt rock the boat. Then the one who writes the songs  is usually the ‘driven’ one in the band, usually the one who books shows and stuff. Then theres the party guy one who’s too busy getting fucked up to notice or care about band politics. Then… theres the dredded closet solo artist.  The undeserved ego guy. The guy who thinks his shitty 4-track tapes in his room are going to get him famous. Usually the most non-complient one…. always saying “how about we play it this way”… Yeah. Right. The shitty way. Playing in a band is like the play ‘No Exit’ by Jean Paul Sartre. Hell is other people. There’s no exit. You’re stuck with these people and you got to make the best of it. Ego’s will clash and there will be a lot of attention grabbing bullshit and everyone wants to be the front man. No bass player wants to play bass, no drummer wants to drum. All musicians, in there heart of hearts, wants to be THE band. It’s usually the cause of all break ups. I’ve tried my best to be humble through the years. Which was why I was a drummer, and I was damned happy to be the drummer. I liked drumming. I liked the security of being behind a kit. Being up front scared me. Then I got a little older, and I started writing my own songs. Not in any attempt to overthrow any band or anything. Just because I wanted to see my own limits on how good of a song I could write. I still continue to write songs and continue to stretch my own limits. The problem is, no musician is comfortable joining onto a band where the creative vehicle isn’t them. Everyones a god damn showman. I hate it. I recently had to throw out my bass player. He said he wanted to take a “mental break” from the band. A MENTAL FUCKING BREAK.. FROM BEING IN A GOD DAMNED BAND. Mind you we’ve only played three shows but just finished our demo. Not exactly a point in our career where a mental break was needed, but it wasnt about a mental break. He was writing his own songs. He was already convinced he was famous and that people would want to be in HIS band and that playing bass in MY band was beneath him. I kindly told him to go fuck himself and in very polite words gave him my best wishes and told him how I thought his “career” would turn out. So all in all I hate playing in fucking bands. Everyones a fame whore and no one does it just for the fun of it. I like to believe I do because i think it’s fun, and in a lot of ways I do think it is fun. I mostly do it because i truely believe it’s the only thing I was meant to do. I haven’t had success in anything else. I have no interest in anything else. I’m a under a spell I cant break. I’m in love with rock and roll. I just wish finding like minded individuals who want to play music for the love of music wasn’t so fucking hard. Meh. I know I was supposed to do a top 10 pebbles list but I’m gonna save that for tommorow as I am too damned depressed thinking about how unreliable and shitty the human race is. Well I hope everyone else is doing ok. Everyone else being no one, because I don’t believe one person has read any of this.

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One Response to

  1. Jenna Lynn says:

    I’m reading Mr. Caufield

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